Behind Closed Doors
by ytilaturb
Summary: Not everything you hear from the outside is what it is on the inside- "Derek, put it in the hole will you?" "I'm tellin you Case, it won't fit!"


**Okay, so I know I haven't updated in a while but I thought I'd give you this. Now, this is an inside joke between a friend and I that we have yet to try because either he laughs ot I do. But enjoy!**

* * *

Lizzie and Edwin were both leaving their rooms when they heard it.

"_Derek, what are you trying to do?"_

"_I'm trying to get it in the hole, what does it look like I'm trying to do?"_

"_Derek, it won't fit in that one, try the other one,"_

Edwin and Lizzie looked at each other, wide eyed.

"The other one?" Lizzie repeated.

"Shh,"

The both tip toed to Derek's closed bedroom door and continued to listen.

"_Derek, is it in yet?"_

"_I can't get it in,"_

"_Maybe you can get it in if you looked where you were putting it,"_

"_Well I can't really see where to put it."_

"_Fine, _I _will do it,"_

The two younger teens heard some rustling sounds before Derek started speaking again.

"_You know when there is resistance, you're supposed stop."_

"_Derek,"_

"_Casey, it won't fit."_

"_I don't care if it won't fit, I'm gonna make it fit."_

Lizzie and Edwin had no idea what to think. There could be countless possibilities of what the two older teens could be doing in Derek's room. And from the sound of it, it sounded like they were doing the nasty, or trying.

"_Derek, this isn't gonna work,"_

"_I told you it wouldn't fit."_

"_Wanna try after dinner?"_

"_Alright," _pause, _"your room or mine?"_

"_How about mine? It's cleaner in there,"_

"_Fine,"_

The door opened, making Lizzie and Edwin jump. Derek and Casey looked at them, confused.

"Why are you two lurking?" Derek asked.

"What were you guys doing in there?"

"Nothing," both said at the same time.

And Derek and Casey walked down the stairs, leaving their younger siblings, dumbfounded and confused.

--

After dinner, Lizzie and Edwin watched their older siblings walk up the stairs. They followed seconds later.

Casey's door was shut like Derek's had been earlier that day and the rustling started along with the talking.

"_What if we try this one?"_

"_Casey, we tried that one, you need to use this one?"_

"_I thought that one was too small?"_

"_No, this one was too small,"_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes, Derek, I'm sure,"_

"_Positive?"_

"_Yes! It was the one I used in your room, remember?"_

There was a long pause before Derek spoke up.

"_I thought that was the blue one?"_

"_No, that was the red one. The one in your hand,"_

Lizzie heard that and she stepped back, stepping on Edwin's bare foot.

They most certainly couldn't have been talking about _'toys'_.

Lizzie quickly turned and covered his mouth with her hand, mouthing 'I'm sorry' over and over again. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and let out a slow breath and glared at Lizzie. She gave him an apologetic smile and kissed him on the forehead. He pouted and she stiffled a giggle. Then they continued to listen.

"_Casey, I'm telling you, it's not gonna fit."_

"_Yes it will. Try to angle it in a different direction,"_

"_Yeah, that's not gonna work,"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because there is only one way in! In!"_

"_I bet you anything Edwin could figure out how to get it in,"_

Edwin's eyes grew wide and Lizzie looked at him. He shook his head quickly while Lizzie continued to look at him.

"_Ed wouldn't even be able to hack this,"_

"_Oh please,"_

"_Wanna get him in here now then? Because I'm sure he's up for something like this."_

"_No, Derek, just hurry up and get it in already, I'm getting antsy."_

"_Antsy?"_

"_Yeah, I've been wanting to try this thing out you know,"_

"_Really,"_

"_Well, yeah. You said that it was fun and intense,"_

"_Oh, trust me, it is, and I have wanted to do this with you for forever."_

Lizzie, back at the door and moved away slightly. Edwin, who had his ear pressed up against the door, was pulled back by Lizzie.

"Okay, I don't know about you, but that sounds like some bump and grind stuff," she whispered to him.

"Uh, you think? Liz they've wanted to _try this thing out_? What else does that say to you?"

"Maybe we should listen more?"

"Yeah,"

They hurried, quietly back to the door and waited for more comments.

"_Oh, Derek, it's-never mind."_

"_What happened?"_

"_You almost got it,"_

"_Okay, I'm already tired of this thing and we haven't even got it on. You try."_

"_Fine,"_

They heard more rustling and strained to make it out.

Nothing.

"_Okay, I told you to try this hole, but no, you never listen."_

"_What hole?"_

"_The one on the bottom,"_

"_I did, and I already proved to you that it wouldn't fit. Obviously, it was too big."_

"_Okay, how difficult can this be? I mean all you have to do is stick it in,"_

"_Well, you wanted to do this so badly,"_

"_You wanted to, too."_

"_Whatever,"_

Edwin looked at his girlfriend with the expression that Joey from _Friends_ usually had when he was shocked. Lizzie tried not to laugh and succeeded a little.

"There getting ready to do it in there!" He whispered to her.

"Oh please, do you really think that Casey would refer sex to 'doing it'?"

"Derek does,"

Lizzie rolled her eyes and continued to listen.

"_I'm telling you Case, it won't fit,"_

"_Derek, you tell me it's not gonna fit one more time,"_

"_You'll what?"_

"_I don't know yet, but when I figure it out, it won't be pretty,"_

"_You're sexy when you're frustrated,"_

"_Der-ek!"_

"_What? I can't help it,"_

"_And you're not helping with this either. Just stick it in already!"_

Edwin gagged slightly and Lizzie smacked his chest lightly.

"I'm telling you, sex," Edwin muttered.

"And I'm telling you to shut up because we'll get caught with your huge mouth," Lizzie snapped in a whisper, "and I highly doubt that they do full on commentary when they have sex."

"You never know, Derek cheers for himself when he's about to finish an extra large pizza by himself."

"Edwin,"

The looked back at the door, not expecting what was going to be said next.

"_Oh it's in, now move it around to make sure it's in right,"_

"_Derek, you move it,"_

"_Fine,"_

"_You know, if I had known it would have taken this long, I wouldn't have done this."_

"_Me either. And I think it's in, I can't really move it around, it's a pretty tight fit,"_

Edwin shook his head and grabbed the handle. And before Lizzie could stop him, her sister's door was pushed open and she followed with a hand over her eyes.

"Okay what the hell are you two-"

Edwin paused. His brother was on his knees, behind the flat screen TV in Casey's room, while she was sitting cross legged on the floor with two controllers and a few green cases. Casey looked up at her younger step brother with a blank expression.

"Um, yeah Edwin?"

Derek poked his head out from behind the TV and he smirked.

"Hey bro," he greeted his brother. "Liz? Why do you have your eyes covered?"

"I don't wanna be scared for life,"

"You'd only be scared for life if you saw your boyfriend over there naked."

"Hey!" He snapped.

Lizzie uncovered her eyes and looked around.

"What are you two doing?" She asked her older sister.

"We're gonna play Xbox." She said to her sister. "Derek's gonna teach me how to play Call of Duty 2," she smiled sweetly at Derek.

He smirked and moved to sit beside her. He tossed his arm over her shoulder and she leaned into his side.

"What'd you think we were doing?" Derek asked.

"We heard you…and thought that…I mean not that we were…Xbox?" Edwin stammered.

"Yeah, wanna watch?" Derek offered, "We can switch off,"

"No, that's okay," Lizzie said, feeling slightly stupid. "Ed and I have a date later tonight."

"Okay, well have fun." Casey said to them before Derek turned on the game system.

Lizzie and Edwin looked at them momentarily before walking out of the room.

"That was weird." Lizzie said.

"Xbox?"

When they had walked out of sight, Casey crawled to the door and shut it. She locked it and faced Derek who was smirking.

"Call of Duty 2?" Derek asked, as he watched her sit on her bed.

"Hey, I had to say something,"

Derek got off the floor and climbed over her body so that he was face to face with her.

"So you really wanna play Xbox?" Derek asked her.

"Xbox, not that kind, Call of Duty? Yes," his brows furrowed together, "I have a different Call of Duty for you," she said smirking.

He smirked back before he kissed her softly. He pulled back a little and looked at her. She smiled and giggled, biting her lower lip. He growled in her neck playfully before he kissed her again.

And it wasn't like Call of Duty the game, but it was sure as hell fun like a game.

* * *

**Lol! :)**


End file.
